Romancing the Gods!

Born in a country, where people worship multiple gods and goddesses, blindly following a faith certainly becomes easy. Brought up by Arya Samaji parents, being educated in a Catholic school, grown up in a Muslim neighborhood and being the grand-daughter of one of the most well-known Vishwa Hindu Parishad ‘karya karta’ (worker), I for all people shouldn’t be the one doubting His existence. But that’s the way things are “abundance of anything loses its relevance in our lives”. Apart from being christened, Pooja (prayer) by my grandmother, I have had little if not no association with God till now. Worshiping and thanking Him for his blessings unquestionably comes reasonably down on my daily to-do list, surely second last if not last. And by the time I go to bed, I certainly am no exception to the rule; I am too exhausted by the daily chores to be able to complete the last couple of things. And, so I miss thanking Him, every day!

 “Come on Pooja, chill-out and relax. How much time will you waste preparing for a job interview, which you actually don’t care about”, I told myself as I lazed in a friend’s apartment in Chennai, waiting for the interviewer’s call. Having waited for over an hour, I told myself, if I am destined (that’s what we Indians leave most of our things on - Destiny) to work for this firm, I’ll surely make it, even if I answered the call from the bustling streets of Mylapore. So having full faith in my destiny, without a second thought, I picked up my sling bag, pulled out cash from my suitcase, hung my camera and hired an auto rickshaw for a fixed fair of hundred rupees straight from T-Nagar to Kapaleeshwarar Temple, Mylapore.

Mylapore, ‘the land of the peacock screams’ as it means in Tamil, has today turned out from the seventh century abode of peacocks into an extremely busy community centre. In spite of being in the heart of the most populous metropolitan city in India, this region comes out as a small temple town in itself. It houses the seventh century Dravidian style Shiva temple overlooking a huge tank which is surrounded by hundreds of small shops, selling everything from a needle to the most ostentatious jewellery and clothes.

As I walked past the lively market place brimming with activities, I crossed several hoardings claiming to book ‘darshans’ or a personal meeting (or ‘puja’ as they say) with the Gods but the amount of time He’ll spend with you, will surely be proportional to your pocket’s depth. While I mock at this very thought, from a distance I heard pundits calling out and promising to perform some special ‘pujas’ at the temple hall to free you from sins and guilt, helping make space for some new. They ascertain of having a special link with the Almighty and could get you a new more lucrative job or if you are still unsatisfied, even your boss’s demotion, provided you pay their desired fee. While this idea surely pleases me, and I smirk at the very thought- Oh people! What all can you do in the name of God!

Walking across Mylapore’s crowded street, I wonder, if the Almighty had been answering the prayers of the extra payers first, and that being the reason for my wishes just getting lined up. While still deeply absorbed in my thoughts, I am stopped by a shopkeeper selling Bhajan CDs and DVDs. Without wasting a second he boasts, “This is the only shop in the vicinity, selling latest Hollywood and Bollywood bajans”. I give him a perplexed uninformed look and contemplate, from when did Hollywood start producing bhajans? He seemed to have read my mind, and instantaneously played his latest collection; Bryan Adam’s strumming in the ‘Summer of 69’, to the lyrics of some Sanskrit Shlok. Being a die-heart Adam fan, I control my emotions and pretend of enjoying this ‘Shlok Collection’. While still upset with this concoction, I hurriedly stepped out of the disorganized congested shop, telling the shopkeeper that I will definitely buy a copy on my way back. Before he could press me any further, I add “in case the demand of this album unexpectedly picks up in the next one hour, ensure you keep a spare copy for me”. What a lie it was!!

Finally, I reach the entrance of the magnificent temple dedicated to ‘Kapal’ – head ‘eeshwara’ – God, i.e. head of God’s Shiva. At the entrance sat a couple of talkative old women, needle weaving jasmine and rose garlands for the lords. I happened to have an eye contact with one of them and she exclaimed “Rupees hundred for the garland and prasadam and your chapels (footwear) will be taken care for free”. Even before, I could utter a word of disagreement and bargain the price, one of them compellingly hands me a prearranged basket containing- flowers, a small mud lamp, packets of vermillion and turmeric and some prasadam and instructs me to pay her on my return. Though I was the smarter one at the CD shop for not getting into the trap but here this uneducated woman, who had been sharpened by her experiences in life, outsmart me. Ten rupees worth of stuff for hundred, aroused the entrepreneur in me, what margins I thought!  And here I was standing at the entrance of the temple, with a basket full of flowers in my hand – an offering to the Gods, which I had always detested and never done in my life.

Carvings on the Temple's entrance

The temple’s massive entrance gate was adorned with beautiful engravings of animals, birds, peacocks, and both devil and deities. I truly didn’t understand their significance there and unconsciously tried figuring out a link. With my eyes still glued onto the gateway, I walked into the temple, not realizing that I was heading into a sea of people who came towards me from the opposite side. There are very few days in life when you learn something new every moment, and this day truly was at its teaching best! In our journey of life, there are no sign boards directing us on the path to choose; but they surely were at the temple entrance which I had missed. While I walked ahead amidst my thoughts, I heard a coarse voice from behind abusing me “Are you illiterate and blind to be entering from the wrong side”. For a while I got annoyed, but without reacting I revisited the path undertaken, paused, stepped back and changed the course to reach my goal.

The temple was a crowded ocean, with fish swimming their way around. In spite of being crammed full, there was a sense of calmness in the place. Chants of Shiva! Great Shiva! filled the air. Being the time for evening prayers Shiva’s idol was placed on a chariot, shoulder held by a dozen pundits who took it around the temple. It’s believed that only the luckiest few get a chance to witness this sacred procession, which happens once a year and I surely was the chosen one. Once the chats ended, the crowd dispersed and quickly lined up at the door outside the Garbhgrah to individually pay homage now. I was confused. After several unsuccessful attempts trying to crane my neck at different angels to get a glimpse of the Lord, I finally decide to join the serpentine queue, mostly lined up with women both young and old. Standing in the queue I contemplated, “are women the ones committing the maximum sins and are here to ask for forgiveness or the ones with the maximum wants”. Reflecting on this weird thought, I smirked and introspected to find out the category I belonged.

Standing amidst devotes – some rich, some not so blessed with the materialistic well being and some differently-able, all I could see were content and blissful faces. Life is full of hardships, it’s a bumpy ride for each one of us, some fight alone while others choose to find support in the superpower and idols, which they called God. The smile on their faces and the sparkle in their eyes conveyed that their prayers would at least be heard, if not granted today. They had full faith in Him. Faith.

Amongst this humongous crowd, I seemed to be the only one so skeptical and doubting His existence or were there more people like me in this queue, witnessing this transformation? Seldom people seemed to be at peace with themselves or possibly that’s how I perceived things today. Perhaps because it was for the first time in my life, I had left everything on destiny, if not God.

My contemplation was interrupted by a push from behind, and the entire serpentine queue swayed like a twig in the wind, and within moments the happy content faces transformed into a race madly running after things. My calm mind was within moments flooded with thoughts of disgust and irritation as I failed to figure out the rationale why people always had a time crunch and rushed after things. Or maybe I am the only one in my genre who is out of the mind and is bombarded with misleading thoughts of peace, love and tranquility.

Even after the push, the line moved forward at snail’s pace. After an hour’s wait, I finally moved to the head of the queue and waited patiently for my chance. Never before in my life, had I seen people so desperate to get just a glimpse. While being pushed from either side, I wondered, “maybe this mad rush was due to this special occasion”, but I was wrong. Shiva, ‘the destroyer’ or ‘the transformer’, is amongst one of the most worshiped Hindu Gods and was told that the temple witnessed this mad rush every day, not once but five times a day, at the time of the ‘pujas’.

After waiting for an hour, finally, I was pushed in front of the Garbhgrah from where I saw the magnificent bronze statues of Goddess Karpagambal (Parvati) with Lord Kapaleeshwara (Shiva). The golden statues were beautifully adorned with the vibrant orange fire-crackle flowers, Crossandra or Kanakambaram, as they are commonly called. The vibrant colors of the orange halo bordered with white jasmine flowers, is still fresh in my mind. While one priest performed Aarti with a big fire lamp, another rang a bell and the third placed the offering from the devotees inside the Garbhgrah. The three priests flawlessly executed their assigned chores and demonstrated unflinching love towards God.

Whilst some people stood humbled and bowed down in-front of the Almighty, others chanted praises while the remaining tried influencing the fourth priest, whom I had missed noticing, for a better view. The picture of the place had hardly sunk in, that within seconds, a pundit literally grabbed and pulled the basket of flowers which I was carrying and offered it to the God. Even before I could react, the pundit gave me a disgusted look and exclaimed, ‘no money in the offering, what a miser you are!’ Though my mind was calm and quite till now, his remarks aggravated my annoyance apart from the constant pulling and pushing and I thought, if I want to romance Him, let it be only Him and not these self-appointed God’s middlemen.

I stared into his shameless eyes with disgust, nodded my head left to right - the typical Indian way of saying that this is wrong and you’ll be punished for this. Then I stepped back, and looked at the deity one last time, as if complaining for his act, and started walking down the ramp. On my way down, I noticed a blue board with instructions in bold white “Non-Hindus not permitted beyond this point” and I wondered from when did God started differentiating between people based on religion. Instead of being more calm and composed for successfully visiting one of the most worshipped temples in the city, my mind was now more troubled with thoughts of discrimination, donations and cheating.

Saddened, I just kept walking down. From a distance I could hear, the priest shooing away devotees, ‘move out, walk fast, there are thousands of people in the queue’. Yes, there are thousands in the queue and they will always be. Nobody wants to confront these God’s middlemen, because they have a closer connection with Him you know. Stepping down from the ramp, I wondered of what I should do with the ash which the Tartuffe priest repulsively gave me as His blessing. While others dutifully spread it across their forehead, it wasn’t meant for me. I just silently walked out, crossed the road, brushed my hands and turned for one last look at the mighty Kapaleeshwar temple. From a distance, I admired the picturesque scene - the temple’s silhouette, the setting sun, and the women still needle weaving the jasmine flowers whose sweet smell filled the air. Chants of Shiva, the sound of Conch and the temple bells at a distance was pleasing to my ears. There couldn’t be a more ideal place to calm and relax my senses, hadn’t the excessive commercialization swallowed away its soul.

Kapaleshwar Temple, Mylapore, Chennai

मेरी रूह की आवाज़

आज के ढ़लते हुए सूरज में भी इतनी तेज़ी है

कि उसकी रोशनी से जगमगा गया है रेगिस्तान का कण-कण

बैठें रेत के पहाड़ पर , कोशिश कर रही हूँ

कि समेंट लूँ इस रेत को मुठ्ठी में बन्द कर

पर लाख कोशिश पर भी , वह बैह जाती है

रुकती न मेरे हाँथ में सिमट कर

ठीक उस तरह जिस तरह

यह पल रुकता नहीं , कुछ देर भी,  मेरे लाख चाहने पर |

शान्ति है हर तरफ , दूर-दूर तक है न कोई

बस सरसराती ठंडी हवा , जिसकी थपकियाँ हैं रेत से भरी

छूती हैं वह मुझको और आँखें भर जातीं हैं

सोचती हूँ कि शायद यह तेरा संदेश मुझ तक पहुँचाती हैं |

इस सन्नाटे में भी एक अजीब सा है अपनापन

पहली बार सुनाई पड़ती है तेज़ – मेरी रूह की आवाज़ और खयालों का मंथन

“ मोह करती हूँ मैं क्यों इन भौतिकतावादी वस्तुओं से

खुशी देंगी मुझे जो ज्यादा से ज्यादा कुछ पल भर ”

इतना तो समझ जा , ऐ मनुष्य तू क्यों है नासमझ

भाग रहा है तू जिसके पीछे उसका है न कोई अन्त |

एक बार ठहर जा , बैठ जा , एकाग्र से एकांत में

महसूस कर  - हवा की थपकियाँ , यह चाँदनी , यह पहाड़ को

और इस रेत के बीच अजूबे तलाब में पानी के बहाव को |

कमा ले तू जितनी भी दौलत , न आएगी किसी काम की

पलट पाओगे तुम हवा का न रुख पानी के बहाव का

न कर पाओगे तुम रात-दिन , न दिन को रात भी

फ़िर भाग रहे हो तुम क्यों, चीज़ों के पीछे बेकार में

क्योंकि शान्ति मन की ही चाह होती है, अन्त में नर-नारी की इस संसार में ||   

                                                                                                                         -  पूजा कुमार

Untitled Poem

खुले आकाश के नीचें बैठकर देखती हूँ झिलमिलाते तारों की ओर

रात के अंधकार में विलीन हो गई है जुगनुओं की चमक और झींगुर के शोर  

न कोई पशु है न कोई पक्षी और न दूर-दूर तक कोई इन्सान

बस बहती ठंडी हवा, ख़ामोशी और शान्ति के साथ खयालों में डूबी , मैं हूँ यहाँ |

इस सन्नाटे में मेरे अशान्त मन में आतें हैं कई ख्याल

कुछ आज के बिखरे ख़्वाबों की निराशा जो सिखाती कल के सपने पाने की राह |

सोचती हूँ – परिश्रम करने पर भी न मिलती मंज़िलें हर बार

जिससे पहले यह मन की हलचल लेती बूंदों का आकार

देखती हूँ सामने कि तारों के दिल भी टूटते हैं उस पार

टूटने पर भी बोलते “में रखता हूँ तुम्हारे ख्वाबों को पूरा करने की चाह”

और देते हैं मुस्कुराने की वजह बगैर फरियाद इस काली रात ||   

सपने बुनते-२ निकल जाती यह छोटी सी रात

भोर होते - शुरू होती चिड़ियों के चेह-चहाने की आवाज़

मेघ न जाने खश क्यों है - कल के तारों की वर्षा के बाद

और पहना देता है हमें इन्द्रधनुष का हार |

इन्द्रधनुष के रंग भी निखरते रोशनी के बिखरने के बाद

बिखरोगे नहीं तो कैसे चमकोगे दूर अम्बर में उस पार | 

बादलों के पीछे से पड़ती सूरज की किरणें मेरे मुख पर इस बार

सपनों की दुनियाँ टूटती लोगों की हल-चल से फिर एक बार

मुस्कुराते अंगडाई लेते देखती हूँ आकाश की ओर

और बोलता है वह मुझसे यह बात

“जहाँ तक है मेरी चादर तुम पर वहाँ तक हूँ मैं तेरे साथ

फिर किस बात से डरते हो तुम और क्यों होते सपने बिखारने से परेशान

कोशिशों में कमी मत करो, फल देना है मेरा काम |”

बात यह आती समझ मुझे, रखूँगी गाँठ के यह बांद

“बिखर-२ के ही तो बीज लेते लहराती फ़सलों का आकार

माला भी तो बनती है लेके बिखरे मोतियों को साथ |”

                                                    - पूजा कुमार

                  All images and writing in this document © Pooja Kumar, 2013.

Eh Zindagi Tujhe Salaam !!

ऐ  ज़िन्दगी  तुम्हेँ  सलाम !!

This poem is dedicated to all these kids, who spend so many sleepless hungry nights and still don't complain and their one smile can make our day !

                                              

 

सब की ज़िन्दगी में आते हैं ये पल

किसी के में आज तो किसी के में कल

जब लगता है सब कुछ व्यर्थ और न मिलता प्रश्नों का हल

जब लगता है की ज़िन्दगी में है कुछ न बाकी

और पूरी दुनियाँ ही लगती है पापी

इस समय मेरे मन में आती एक ही बात बार-बार

ऐ वक्त ! मै ही क्यों ? और कैसे जाऊँगी मै उस पार |

रात-दिन दिन-रात सोचती हूँ, कोसती हूँ,

और बन्द कमरे में भी अकेले रोती हूँ

फिर भी न निकलता है कोई निश्कर्ष

फिर भी न मिलता है मेरी परेशानीयों का हल और पहाड़ जैसा लगता है अब हर पल|

गीले तकिये पे रोती सोती मनाती हूँ

कल तो करोगे तुम कोई चमत्कार और मुझे निकालोगे इन कष्टों के पार |

चमत्कार तो करते नहीं हो तुम

पर देखती हूँ जब खुली खिड़की के बाहर सूर्य की पहली किरण

सुनती हूँ मन्दिर की घंटी और अज़ान की पुकार

और उनके सामने पीपल के पत्ते समेटती हुई झाडू की आवाज़ |

साथ में आती है एक और आवाज़ , उन रात की भूख से रोते हुए कुछ बच्चों की पुकार

माँ डाँटती हैं उनको , रुको अभी , करो कुछ और देर इंतज़ार

मालकिन के नौकर, फेकेंगे थोड़ी देर में ज़रूर कल का खान-पान |

और फिर आती है मेरे दिल में एक ही बात

मुश्किलें तो दी हैं, पर कम से कम तुमने मुझे दी हैं उनसे कम हर बार

दिल मेरा पसीज जाता है , रोती हूँ खुली आँखों से इस बार

और मनाती हूँ  - मेरी नहीं , मुझसे पहले करो उस परिवार की नाँव उस पार |

पोंछती हूँ अपनी आँखे , तैयार होती हूँ मुश्किलों से लड़ने को दोबारा एक बार

और करती हूँ इस तरह एक नए दिन की शुरुवात |

फिर मन में आता है सिर्फ एक ही ख्याल

ऐ दिल, तू क्यों करता है व्यर्थ बाँतो को सोचने में अपने यह लम्हे बर्बाद

क्योंकि आज के यह हसीन लम्हें न आयेंगे तुम्हारी ज़िन्दगी में बार-बार ||

                                                                                                                       -     पूजा कुमार 



         

                      All images and writing in this document © Pooja Kumar, 2013. 

Ek Chooti Se Mulakat ..

Mere dil ke haar koone mein tum ho 

Mere aakhon ke nami ke vajah bhi tum ho

Humare beech hai fasale itne 

Aakash prithvi ke doori jitne

Aur kar loon mai bhi dua jitne 

Jante hoon yeah doore hai na mitne !

Tumhare liye yeah ek chooti se mulakat hai 

Aur humare beech  na koi baat hai ..

Par mehsoos toh karo aankhe band karke 

Ke humare toh  ruh ke ruh se pehchan hai !

Ek kadam mai chaloon ek kadam tum chalo

Jhoot he sahe ekbaar shitij par tum milo

Chandani raat ho aur lehroon ka saath ho 

Mere hathoon mein jab tera hath ho

Phir saath chalna aur mehsoos karna 

Ke kya tere ruh mere ruh se anjan hai ?

Phir soochna kya sahi kya galat

Ke raah mere hai galat ya ab mere liye apne rahoon ko palat ! !

City of Everlasting Love ......Agra !

Tumse jo hai mohabbat itne..
Ke din aur raat tumhara saath cahate 
Kya karein hum, ke yeah baat tumse keh nahi paate..

Ek baar toh keh bhi doon..
Par tumhare inkaar se dil darta hai,
Jhoot he sahi, kushfami mein yeah
Kam se kam machalta hai.

Samajh na aata yeah mujhe
Ke tum par kyoon yeah fisalta hai ..
Koshiosh toh karte hoon bhaut, tumse dor rehne ke
Aur na karoon yeh bhool mein, anjaane mein bhi kehne ke..

Karoon toh kya karoon..
Majboor hoon kuch mai bhi ..
Kyoon ke tumhare eikraar ke aas mein he toh har lamha guzarta hai !

Shayari ... my first attempt !

1) Dedicated to the love of my life ....

     Dil ka kya karoon.. tum zaroorat ho mere.. 
     Saas-ein hein mere jab tak cahaat hai tere.. 
     Karoon toh mai kya karoon, tumhare diwange mein..
     Kaam se kaam aaj ke shaam bhi tere naam kare !!




2) Dedicated to this young lad.. who is looking up to my dad and saying.. I want to grow up and be like you ! 

Hasratein toh dil mein hai bhaut.. Aur Cahatoon ke hai na kami ..

Hasratein toh dil mein hai bhaut.. Aur Cahatoon ke hai na kami ..

Kami hai na Hausalon mein .. na Koshishoon mein hai kami ..

Kami hai toh sirf mere Zindagi ke ein guzarte hue lamhoon ke hai kaamein !!

The Untold Story: Coming together & then parting !

 The Story of My Life !

The more I want to hold on to you, the quicker you are pulled out of my life.

While the sooner I want to run away, the tighter you cling and more time you take to bid me good-bye. 

Sometimes, I feel someone somewhere is plotting against me and challenging my every move,

But as this evening comes to a close; my fondness for you only grows.

Life is so beautiful; I realized it only now. Having spent so many years, in search of why and how?

In life I met so many people, some happy and gay,

With some I liked spending time together while others would invariably nay.

Some became close friends, who’d always remain in my heart,

But slowly and gradually everyone rose, brushed their clothes and left in their predestined paths.

I felt sad as we parted, but that’s the way of life;

The more you love someone, the more difficult it is to bid him good-bye.

Today’s evening setting sun, did slightly dampen my soul,

But it did bring along with it a promise for tomorrow’s hopes.

I stood up, brushed my clothes, but didn’t know which way to go

Half my friends had turned right and followed the camel-cart,

But following in footsteps of others, is surely not my part

So instead, I turned the opposite side and just followed my heart.

The more I did things my way, the more you turned me down,

Each time I put in my best, you made sure there was some reason to frown.

Disgusted of being rejected, I promised myself that I was not here to please the clan

And therefore, half-hearted I continued pursuing my plans.

With every failure, you gave me strength and made me the person you wanted me to be

Being human, I always doubted your intentions which I could hardly see.

With my heart still crying in pain, and searching for the truth

I saw a little boy who parted with his friends, but was still playing with his tube.

Slowly and gradually realization dawned on me, that we aren’t here to stay

He taught me to be happy every moment because you never know when it’s your last day to play.

The moment I acknowledged this truth,

I fell in love with life and also with 'that someone' who was plotting against my moves.

And thanked Him whole-heartedly for at least making me experience the other side.  

Now everything seemed more beautiful and more meaningful, even the musicians deeper parting tunes.  

With every passerby, I realized, that best things in life are free and I can’t control their move,

So with this evening coming to a close; my fondness for you only grows.

Before, the fast pace of life swallows your passion for living and drains away your soul

Just close your eyes and think, and may be your fondness for it will also grow. 

             

 All images and writing in this document © Pooja Kumar, 2013.  poojakumar06@gmail.com